While visiting Goloka Dhama[1] to celebrate Krishna’s appearance day, a friend asked me how I was. I said, “I feel totally blissful because I live a most wonderful life!”

 

At first my friend looked back with an expression of disbelief, but then his face settled into happy surprise. “Really? Tell me about it!”

 

So I spoke to him about the eternal soul and how we are all parts of happy Krishna, and how we address Krishna each day by chanting His holy names. But he interrupted me: “Yes, I know all that, but what is your experience of all this philosophy and practice?”

An experience I had high in the Swiss Alps came to mind – an experience that has stayed with me, although it has faded a little in intensity.

 

It was early morning. The sun had just started to rise and pour its golden rays over the shoulders of the silent mountains. I was sitting on my bed chanting when suddenly I disconnected from the beautiful scene before me and entered an even more beautiful scene – the scene within the heart. I could clearly see that I was an eternal soul, part of the spiritual world, which was sparkling with pure love – the love of Krishna for His devotees, which filled all the devotees’ hearts and poured back to Him only to circulate in ever fresh ways back and forth.

 

Before leaving my room that morning, I jotted down what I saw and later turned it into a poem. Here it is for your pleasure:

 

LOCK THE DOOR!

This morning I woke with a start –

no matter how I tried, I could not find myself in the bed.

I rushed to the bathroom to check the mirror, but

someone else was looking back at me – someone full of compassion.

As usual I engaged myself in a thousand little things

to see whether I could find myself in any of them, but

met no success.

 

I honestly don’t know where that other person went,

the one who used to worry and criticize himself

and whom I know so well.

I don’t remember seeing him move out of the house.

Can someone please tell me how to lock the door so he can’t come back?

He occupied the only big room I have – the room of my heart –

and he spread his things everywhere.

His leaving has freed up the space.

In its center I found both myself

and the most beautiful Being, Krishna,

who was smiling at me with love.

 

My heart feels free now, but heavy with His love.

My eyes are clear from seeing His radiant image everywhere.

My tongue tastes only the sweetness of His divine names.

 

Is that what saints talk about when

they try to describe enlightenment?

Now I urgently need to know how to lock the door of the heart

– while keeping it wide open.

 

I read my poem to my friend and his eyes began to sparkle. “Yes, you have a wonderful life, and soon I will also try to lose myself to find myself!”

 

(08/09)